徐小斌 Xú XiǎoBīn 《水晶婚 Shuǐjīng Hūn》
30岁的老姑娘,似乎已经老得不能再老(后来天衣才深深感到,30岁对于一个女人,起码是对于她来说,还非常非常年轻。她真的大可不必那么着急结婚)。于是,每天面对的第一个话题就是:交朋友。当然是指男朋友。最积极的一位便是邻居介阿姨,天衣最要好的两个女朋友商娣和商娴的妈妈。起先,她只是管她的两个女儿,她是个很有本事的前辈,可以一天给女儿安排两三个男孩见面,并且按照世俗条件都是挺不错的。特别是商娴,因为比较听话,见的就更多一点。有一天,天衣从暗淡的窗子里面看到商娴戴着一条色彩鲜艳的围巾,很兴奋地走过去,脸色也同样鲜艳,她的心当时似乎被什么刺中了似的,眼眶里顿时盈满泪水。是嫉妒么?不是。羡慕?更不是。说不上是什么。好象就是过去她们在一起读过的那首诗:
30 suì de lǎogūniáng, sìhū yǐjīng lǎo dé bùnéng zài lǎo (hòulái tiān yī cái shēn shēn gǎndào,30 suì duìyú yīgè nǚrén, qǐmǎ shì duìyú tā lái shuō, hái fēicháng fēicháng niánqīng. Tā zhēn de dà kě bùbì nàme zhāojí jiéhūn). Yúshì, měitiān miàn duì de dì yī gè huàtí jiùshì: Jiāo péngyǒu. Dāngrán shì zhǐ nán péngyǒu. Zuì jījí de yī wèi biàn shì línjū jiè āyí, tiān yī zuì yàohǎo de liǎng gè nǚ péngyǒu shāng dì hé shāng xián de māmā. Qǐxiān, tā zhǐshì guǎn tā de liǎng gè nǚ'ér, tā shìgè hěn yǒu běnshì de qiánbèi, kěyǐ yītiān gěi nǚ'ér ānpái liǎng sān gè nánhái jiànmiàn, bìngqiě ànzhào shìsú tiáojiàn dōu shì tǐng bùcuò de. Tèbié shì shāng xián, yīn wéi bǐjiào tīnghuà, jiàn de jiù gèng duō yīdiǎn. Yǒu yītiān, tiān yī cóng àndàn de chuāngzi lǐmiàn kàn dào shāng xián dàizhe yītiáo sècǎi xiānyàn de wéijīn, hěn xīngfèn de zǒu guòqù, liǎnsè yě tóngyàng xiānyàn, tā de xīn dāngshí sìhū bèi shénme cì zhōngle shì de, yǎnkuàng lǐ dùnshí yíng mǎn lèishuǐ. Shì jídù me? Bùshì. Xiànmù? Gèng bùshì. Shuōbushàng shì shénme. Hǎo xiàng jiùshì guòqù tāmen zài yīqǐ dúguò dì nà shǒu shī:
An old maid, age 30, is already beyond too old. (It wasn't until later that Tiān Yī came to realize, a woman at age 30, at least for her, is still quite young. There is really no need to rush into marriage.) So, every day the most important topic of conversation is "finding friends". Of course, that means a boyfriend. The most eager in aiding this endeavor is the neighbor Mrs. Jiè, the mother of Tiān Yī's two best friends Shāng Dì and Shāng Xián. At first she was only concerned about her own two daughters, being quite a formidable woman of experience, she arranged for them to meet with two or three eligible young men a day, all of whom were considered well off. Shāng Xián, especially, had more arranged meetings because she was obedient. One day, Tiān Yī saw through the dim window Shāng Xián wearing a bright colorful scarf, walking over excitedly, her face equally radiant. Then it was as if something pierced Tiān Yī's heart, her eyes suddenly brimmed over with tears. Is it jealousy? No. Admiration? Definitely not. It is difficult to put it into words. It is like that poem they read together:
天霜河白夜星稀,一雁声嘶何处归?早知半路应相失,不如从来本独飞。
Tiān shuāng hé báiyè xīng xī, yī yàn shēng sī hé chù guī? Zǎo zhī bànlù yīng xiāng shī, bùrú cónglái běn dú fēi.
A frosty sky, silvery river, and sprinkling of stars.
The sound of a solitary wild goose. Where is it going?
If I had known that we will lose each other halfway,
it would have been better to fly alone.
天衣一直害怕着的,终于来临了。
Tiān yī yīzhí hàipàzhe de, zhōngyú láilínliǎo.
What Tiān Yī has always feared, finally happened.
但是男朋友们象被筛选下来的面粉那样纷纷从筛子孔里漏出去了。一年下来,商家姐妹依然如故。于是,介阿姨似乎悟到了什么,改进了工作方法。她开始利用关系为她们做征婚启事:两姐妹,还包括天衣。她似乎悟到,假如天衣不嫁,那么她的两个女儿,都不会嫁。天衣是一切坏主意的始作俑者,是罪恶之源,只有把天衣处理掉,她的女儿才会真正扫清心理障碍,正视现实。
Dànshì nán péngyǒumen xiàng bèi shāixuǎn xiàlái de miànfěn nàyàng fēnfēn cóng shāizi kǒng lǐ lòu chūqùle. Yī nián xia lái, shāngjiā jiěmèi yīrán rúgù. Yúshì, jiè āyí sìhū wù dàole shénme, gǎijìnle gōngzuò fāngfǎ. Tā kāishǐ lìyòng guānxì wèi tāmen zuò zhēnghūn qǐshì: Liǎng jiěmèi, hái bāokuò tiān yī. Tā sìhū wù dào, jiǎrú tiān yī bù jià, nàme tā de liǎng gè nǚ'ér, dōu bù huì jià. Tiān yī shì yīqiè huài zhǔyì de shǐzuòyǒngzhě, shì zuì'è zhī yuán, zhǐyǒu bǎ tiān yī chǔlǐ diào, tā de nǚ'ér cái huì zhēnzhèng sǎo qīng xīnlǐ zhàng'ài, zhèngshì xiànshí.
However eligible young men were lost pellmell, like flour pouring through a sieve. A year later, the situation remained the same for the Shāng sisters. It was as if Mrs. Jiè finally realized something and changed her methods. She used her connections to make dating profile advertisements for the two sisters and also for Tiān Yī. She had come to believe that if Tiān Yī does not get married than neither will her two daughters. Tiān Yī is the originator of all bad ideas, the source of all evil. Only when Tiān Yī is swept out of the way, will her daughters' hearts have a clear unobstructed path and they will finally face reality.
也许这是对的。
Yěxǔ zhè shì duì de.
Perhaps this is true.
于是给她们起好了化名,化名都很动听。加上什么“容貌秀丽,气质大方,大学本科,热爱文学、美术、音乐 ……”天衣的启事里还加了一条:擅长烹调。总之,把她们的条件罗列一下,还是相当有竟争力的。
Yúshì gěi tāmen qǐ hǎole huàmíng, huàmíng dū hěn dòngtīng. Jiā shàng shénme “róngmào xiùlì, qìzhí dàfāng, dàxué běnkē, rè'ài wénxué, měishù, yīnyuè ……” Tiān Yī de qǐshì lǐ hái jiāle yītiáo: Shàncháng pēngtiáo. Zǒngzhī, bǎ tāmen de tiáojiàn luóliè yīxià, háishì xiāngdāng yǒu jìng zhēng lì de.
Therefore they all had pretty and pleasant sounding assumed names. In addition, it said things such as "beautiful appearance, generous, loves literature, art, music ..." Tiān Yī's personal ad had yet another line "skilled cook". Overall, with their personal information presented in this way, they were quite competitive.
但是天衣万万没想到,启事发出一个月之内,她便收到了差不多两千封来信。那是些什么样的信啊!那真是从漠河到西沙群岛,从帕米尔高原到乌苏里江,从政府官员到农村青年,上至半百下至弱冠,真真是各色人等,五花八门,令人眼花缭乱。只可惜后来几次搬家,这些信件都扔掉了,不然细细研究,真可以从中发现一个小社会,一个二十世纪八十年代中国男性面面观。代收信件的吴阿姨帮她挑出几封信,都是北京的,大本以上文化水平,但是见了两个之后,顿感味同嚼蜡。大约别人对她的感觉也一样。那时她发表《关于双性恋之研究》刚刚一年,对于纸上案例的感觉还没完全消失,现实与理想差得太远,当然觉得没有味道。
Dànshì tiān yī wàn wàn méi xiǎngdào, qǐshì fāchū yīgè yuè zhī nèi, tā biàn shōu dàole chàbùduō liǎng qiān fēng láixìn. Nà shì xiē shénme yàng de xìn a! Nà zhēnshi cóng mòhé dào xīshā qúndǎo, cóng pà mǐ'ěr gāoyuán dào wū sū lǐjiāng, cóng zhèngfǔ guānyuán dào nóngcūn qīngnián, shàng zhì bànbǎi xià zhì ruòguàn, zhēn zhēnshi gèsè rén děng, wǔhuābāmén, lìng rén yǎnhuāliáoluàn. Zhǐ kěxí hòulái jǐ cì bānjiā, zhèxiē xìnjiàn dōu rēng diàole, bùrán xì xì yánjiū, zhēn kěyǐ cóngzhōng fāxiàn yīgè xiǎo shèhuì, yīgè èrshí shìjì bāshí niándài zhōngguó nánxìng miànmiànguān. Dài shōu xìnjiàn de wú āyí bāng tā tiāo chū jǐ fēng xìn, dōu shì běijīng de, dà běn yǐshàng wénhuà shuǐpíng, dànshì jiànle liǎng gè zhīhòu, dùn gǎn wèitóngjiáolà. Dàyuē biérén duì tā de gǎnjué yě yīyàng. Nà shí tā fābiǎo “guānyú shuāng xìng liàn zhī yánjiū” gānggāng yī nián, duìyú zhǐ shàng ànlì de gǎnjué hái méi wánquán xiāoshī, xiànshí yù lǐxiǎng chà dé tài yuǎn, dāngrán juédé méiyǒu wèidào.
However Tiān Yī never imagined, when the advertisements were sent out, that she would receive almost two thousand letters. What kind of letters are these? From Mohe City to the Paracel Islands, from the Pamir Mountains to the Ussuri River, from government employees to farm boys, as old as 50 and as young as 20. Truly it was people from all walks of life, of every variety, a chaotic disarray. It's a pity that after moving a couple of times, the letters were tossed. If they are examined carefully, you will discover an entire little society, a comprehensive survey of 1980's men in China. The mailperson Mrs. Wú helped her pick out a couple of letters, all from men in Beijing with at least an bachelor's degree. After meeting two, she stopped because she found them extremely dull. Probably the other person feels the same about her. At the time it was just one year after she wrote "Research on Bisexuality", her feelings towards the case studies still have not receded. The gap between her ideals and reality was too wide, so of course it all feels flat and flavorless.
Translator 译者: 鸑岚朠 Yuè LánYīng Buy Me Tea
To continue reading see Nicky Harman's official English translation:
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